1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
fuck your aforementioned shoe
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
