Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
