We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
