Have you finally orgasmed yet?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
