Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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