i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
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