youre lurking in front of me
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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