Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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