i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
My penis needs a shock collar
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
