Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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