I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
