No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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