She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
