I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
