do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
