I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
