Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
