bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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