You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
