like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
