Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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