My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize