She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
