i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize