Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
