Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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