the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Randomize
