Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize