K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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