doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
