Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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