scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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