Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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