it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
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Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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