youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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