you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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