dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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