My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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