Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
