Don't make out with my wife yet
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
don't judge my taste in strippers
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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