For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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