Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
