i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Enjoy the penises
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
