i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
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It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
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Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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