Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
