come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
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I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
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We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
My bed smells like the plague
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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