Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
