The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
