And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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