...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
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Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
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I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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