We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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