return my video game
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
