erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
