Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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