is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just want to make out with him forever
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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