Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
