Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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