I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
