Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
