i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
