So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
