i'm signing you up for texting rehab
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
