Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
