I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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