Jerry, you need to find god
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
they're like a gay fantastic four
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
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You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
And then he peed in my hair
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